THE OLD NEW WORDS FOR 2007, 2008, 2009. 2010 and we suspect well into 2011 as well
1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only …

Below are some items of interest.  You may want to treasure these crumbs of wisdom.
??1. No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3. If you sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
7. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8. Puppies …

“Just saying”
All of us “old” folks can remember why we didn’t have the “green thing” and how much better it was for us then!
The “Green Thing”
In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the ‘green thing’ back in my day.”
The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save …

I QUALIFY!  EXTRA FOR OLE FOLKS-NEVER TAKE A LAXATIVE AND A SLEEPING PILL ON THE SAME NIGHT! 
Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh…..it is all true….
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70! 
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 
03. No one expects you to run–anywhere. 
04. People call at 9 pm and ask,”did I wake you?” 
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 
06. There is nothing left to learn …

How your current life is broken down and explained by charts, and graphs.

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared
offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with
patients. As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that the
receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo
wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME
HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look
at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an …

What a savings!
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year
Buddy would say, ‘Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter’
Edna always replied, ‘I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
And fifty bucks is fifty bucks’
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, ‘Edna, I’m 85
years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another
chance’
To this, Edna replied, “Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty
bucks is fifty bucks’
The pilot overheard the couple …

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. “Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.” “Yes, I know …

Choosing The Right Shampoo For Your Hair Type
There are hundreds of shampoo’s out there, from the Suave you can purchase at the local pharmacy to designer shampoo’s like Kerastas and Philip B. that can only be purchased from specialty salons and stores. How do you choose?
First, know your hair type. It’s fairly easy to know what type of shampoo your hair needs if it’s permed or colored. If your hair is permed then most likely you’re seeing a stylist on a regular basis and he or she has suggested a …