butt jokeA guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off …
Take a walk through history around Albuquerque’s Old Town, the serene village that has been the focal point of community life since 1706. Quiet hidden patios, winding brick paths, gardens and balconies are waiting to be discovered. Wrought iron and adobe benches beckon you to rest in the shade and watch people stroll by. Visit historic San Felipe de Neri Church and relax in the Rose Garden.
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An elderly gentleman…
Had serious hearing problems for a number of
years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted
for
a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to
the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family
must
be really pleased that you can hear again.’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my
family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the
conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center
were sitting on …
About .5 people per 100,000 population (1400 total, all ages) die from accidental gunshot wounds and about 33 per 100,000 (100,000 total) are injured accidentally with gunshots (per US Centers for Disease Control/prevention) per year recently. The rate has been dropping steadily for years.
Some of the accidents are results of hunting accidents. Some are associated with mistakenly thinking a gun was unloaded. Some involve idiotic behaviour like “horseplay.” Some involve unsupervised children. Virtually all of them involve inattention to a few basic safety rules. Very few of them involve pre-teen …
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The trials and tribulations of Building 800
Chabot Spectator The first question that came to mind when I caught this on the poop sheet that's given out every week in the press room was ‘are you serious?' I mean it'sa brand new building. From the outside it looks elite, a nice new chain linked white rail that … |
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Macca wants to poop the party
Essex Echo, UK By Chris Phillips » The table-topping Foxes visit Roots Hall on Saturday knowing a win would clinch promotion and the League One championship. But the Shrimpers midfielder is keen to delay their impending celebrations by securing a shock victory for … |
